I have here the story of a lady who believes no woman is ugly. let's go through it.

Ten years ago, I was almost 60 pounds
more than I am now.

I had cut my hair short, added a few
highlights and really had this frumpy
vibe going on. I had two kids at the time,
ages 6 and 2. I was trying to be taken
seriously as a good mommy and had let
myself go. I was eating a ridiculous
amount of sugar. I cared way too much
about what other women thought of me.
I formed new friendships with the moms
from school and they frequently revolved
around food. I hated the way I looked,
but I fit in. After seeing the pictures from
a trip to Disney with my family, I
wondered how I let it happen. I knew I
was wearing a size 14 and at five feet
tall, it looked like I was wearing an even
bigger size. I had a double chin and knew
if I didn't stop this weight train, I'd be
even bigger.

I lost 50 pounds in six months. I changed
how I ate and worked out like crazy. It
was great and I felt pretty... except for a
few ugly things. First of all, one of the
moms joked that if I lost any more
weight, no one would want to hang out
with me. I already felt that. There was a
judgment thing going on and of course
jealousy could have been behind it. Also,
people don't like when we change. It bugs
them out. It makes them confront certain
parts of themselves they think they can't
change. Many times when a woman
would see I lost weight, she would tell
me how they should lose weight or give
me excuses why they haven't. I never
knew what to say. I'd offer tips, but the
conversation never really seemed to be
about weight in the end.

The other side effect I was not ready for
was that creepy guy stared at me
randomly, making me feel uncomfortable
and naked. I had gone from one person
people saw -- an overweight woman -- to
the cute young thing. I had also started
growing my hair longer and dressing
younger, and so I looked more my age. It
was bizarre. This kind of attention was a
double-edged sword. Seeing younger guys
glance my way, checking me out at the
gym, was very flattering and motivating
to keep me going on the Stairmaster. But
getting out of the car at the convenience
store and feeling someone's eyes on me in
a negative, disgusting, weird way felt
awful. I didn't know how to act. I could
see why someone would want to hide
their body. I didn't want to have to wear
baggy clothes out of fear and change who
I was because of others. I was still trying
to figure out who I was and wouldn't
know her for quite a few more years. I
actually felt like guys took me more
seriously when I was overweight and
treated me like a ditz when I was
thinner. The whole thing was a mind
trip.

Thank my thirties for the wisdom they
keep bringing me. This fiery attitude is
me, take it or leave it. Ladies, there is no
need to compare ourselves to one another
physically, career-wise, as moms or in
any way. Work on yourself and develop a
relationship with your body-mind-spirit.
This changes everything. Don't ever feel
like you have to adjust how you dress or
how you are because of a man or a
woman's reaction to you. How they
react, think, speak and act is about them,
not you. Men, don't objectify a woman
who is dressed in a bikini or be
disrespectful because you like the way a
woman looks. A woman should never
feel like she has to hide her body for fear
of comments, ogling or creeper behavior.
That is never going to get a guy anywhere
anyway. Compliment a woman's
intelligence, character, integrity, her
heart. Praise who she is -- that's wooing
her. Tell her that her eyes are beautiful,
not her ass, or else she feels like all you
want is a piece of ass.

Now, I don't expect females who don't
know they're beautiful to play a tiny
violin and feel bad for someone who feels
judged for their beauty. I see beauty in
all women and don't think there is any
standard we have to live up to. True
beauty comes from the inside, in a
woman's passions, creativity, successes,
her true essence; it shines out through
her eyes and smile. When a woman loves
herself, she gives off this air of
confidence and like a magnet, people are
drawn to that.

There's no such thing as an ugly woman,
in my opinion. Ugly behavior yes, but
there is something beautiful about every
woman. Own that, ladies. No apologies
for your beauty, sass or smarts -- EVER.
Never let anyone define you by your
appearance, be it your face, hair or
weight. You define yourself. Let's teach
the young girls how to become great
women.